I think all writers have times of self-doubt.
Shit, I guess everyone has those moments, but I think it’s how we handle those situations that makes us who we are as people, and defines the kinds of stories we want to write.
Or in this case, don’t want to write.
I’m talking specifically about this blog, and my personal stories.
The cycle goes something like this:
Step 1 — Joel get’s really amped about a project, practically cracking the keys as he types with excitement
Step 2 — Joel maintains a steady flow of writing for a period of time, a couple days, a week, two weeks, a month.
Step 3 — Joel misses a day.
Step 4 — Joel misses another day.
Step 5 — Doubt starts to creep in.
Step 6 — Doubt is set in.
Step 7 — Joel thinks why bother.
Step 8 — No writing ensues.
It’s in the time in between Step 8 turning around and returning to Step 1 that I really reflect on why I bother continuing this sort of project at all. I know daily writing is helpful in getting the creativity flowing, but is the time it takes to write these, take pictures to go along with them, edit them, lay them out and post them…am I really getting a return on my investment here?
In these times of doubt, I scour the internet for bits of content that may kick my ass back into gear. Watching videographers that inspire me, or reading writers that I love, all hoping that something will ignite that flame again.
Other times, I just realize that I don’t give a shit what people think. Plain and simple.
I honestly think if I read through my Volume 1 journals (or if I had a better search tool on this website) I could perhaps find where I’ve written these exact words before. I know I’ve done it.
However, I feel this way of thinking requires it’s own kind of strength, it’s own kind of muscle. And like any muscle, it takes working out to remain strong, and sometimes it gets neglected.
Now, I’m starting to get the steel back in my spine and creating some projects I’m pretty excited about.
Briefly, I’ve got a self-publishing idea I’m moving ahead with and I’m working on a series of posts geared at young reporters entering the business using my own experience and stories as the foundation.
A bit of story telling and teaching at the same time.
Until then, here are a few animal portraits I snapped while at the Toronto Zoo with M.
We got lucky and both had Friday off last week. It rarely happens that we get a full day together during the week (and when I say rarely, I mean never) so we took full advantage.
It’s days like these that I cherish with her, doesn’t matter where it is, just spending the whole day walking hand-in-hand is enough for me.
Until next time, thanks for reading.